


Lately I can’t recognize you (the doctors lied when they said they saved you)

by kyo1



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Avengers (mentioned ), Avengers - Freeform, Coma, Depression, Doctor Strange - Freeform, Guilt, Helen Cho - Freeform, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Kinda, Other, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker - Freeform, Peter Parker Deserves Better, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker needs help, Precious Peter Parker, Sad Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Deserves Better, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, angsty, guilt complex, tony stark - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:21:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27471895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyo1/pseuds/kyo1
Summary: Tony held Peters hand while he sat on the recliner. He reached for the remote and clicked on Star Wars. It’s probably his 27th time he’s watched this movie, but it’s the only thing he can stomach, it’s something Peter at least deserves to hear while in the coma.He can’t recognize him.OrPeter Parker falls into a coma and then everything changes.
Relationships: Avengers & Peter Parker, Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, Happy Hogan & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Peter Parker & May Parker, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	1. Your sick little head, so brain damaged and lying in that hospital bed

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y’all like this ! The title is from the song “Coma Baby” by Nicole Dollanganger . Also , i’m no medical profesional, i’m merely a highschooler trying to get by , so anything that’s not medically correct, consider it as my “author powers” :)

Tony held Peters hand while he sat on the recliner. He reached for the remote and clicked on Star Wars. It’s probably his 27th time he’s watched this movie, but it’s the only thing he can stomach, it’s something Peter at least deserves to hear while in the coma. 

It’s been 5 months and Doctor Cho and Strange still don’t know if he’s going to wake up. 

“ _We are not sure of the initial damage Tony. His healing is very fast so we don’t know what we are dealing with_ ” 

“ _We don’t know if he will ever wake up...his brain was shutting down_ ” 

“ _It was dying , he’s lucky he’s even breathing_ ” 

“ **_ He  _ ** _was dying_ ”

* * *

Tony laid his forehead on Peters limp and cold hand. He let the tears fall gently. 

It was after 7 months that Strange came up with a solution. 

“It might not work. But...it’s better than this. The probability of him waking up right now is too low. We just have to try this surgery” Strange said nervously. 

“It’s a little complicated. There’s a 50/50 chance this won’t work at all. But we both have been discussing, and think it’s worth a shot” Helen added. 

“Anything to save him” Tony said with tears in his eyes. Rhodey patting him softly on his back. 

The surgery was scheduled in two days time. They spent the days checking his stats and keeping close watch, and preparing for the procedure. 

Tony spent the time crying and , or, feeling hopeful. 

He wil- might have Peter back.

These seven months have been quiet. At first he was slightly annoyed at how much Peter talked and talked and  god he wouldn’t shut up. But he never realized how Peter filled up the silence with his mindless chatter. And it’s been so quiet and dull and  dead . 

Most of his friends have lost hope. 4 months in they graduated and gave up on Peter ever waking up.

” _I’m sorry Stark, i can’t keep wishing for miracles” Mj said into the phone, promptly hanging up._

_“I just- i can’t see him like that anymore. It’s been too long. He won’t-“ Ned sighed. “I don’t think he will wake up. And i’m going to college, i can’t keep visiting. I’m sorry” Ned said to Tony._

May has been drowning herself in work. Taking multiple 12-hour shifts trying to keep away from the deafening silence in the apartment. 

Tony offered her a room in the compound, but she turned it down. She considered it though, for the first two months. But then she realized Peter might not wake up anytime soon and she can’t live her life waiting. 

Tony on the other hand, _did_ live these few months waiting. He’s visited Peter everyday and talks to him. Sometimes he’s quiet and sad, but he always at least sits by the bed and holds Peters hand. 

Pepper, god bless her soul, has been with Tony every step of the way. She’s still miraculously holding SI together and being there with him. 

When everyone started appearing less and less, she never faltered. Trying to at least pass by everyday to lay a kiss on Peters forehead. It’s not much by any means, but a small gesture that makes it known shes _here._

Rhodey has also been a steady rock for Tony. But there’s only so much vacation and sick days you can take, especially since he worked in the military. But he always make sure to visit Peter when he can, and call Tony every time he’s on a trip.

Happy...is just there. He doesn’t visit that often anymore, but asks about Peter almost everyday. It’s clear in his eyes that he’s slowly losing hope, and it makes Tony so angry. 

_’PETER WILL WAKE UP’_ Tony will say in his head any time Happy gave him that same empty and pitying look. 

Tony sighs and looks down to his watch. Only one more hour for the surgery. He cried as he held Peters hand. 

Right before Cho and Strange walked in, Tony leaned down towards Peters ear. 

“You have to pull through” He whispered softly. “Please come back to us Peter” . He kissed Peters temple and sat up when the door opened. 

“We’re ready Stark” Strange said. “The nurses will take him now to the OR”. 

Tony nodded and stepped away. Knowing he wouldn’t even be let close to the operating room. 

He watched as they wheeled Peter away. 

* * *

The surgery went well. There is no way to tell if it worked, for a while. They’ve been monitoring Peter constantly and doing a lot of scans and tests. 

Tony sat beside Peters bed. Watching Star Wars once again in a silent hope he could hear Peters voice imitating the characters. He doesn’t. Peters still in the coma. But he can imagine. 

It’s comforting. 

He feels guilty. Of course he does. He knows what he was doing that day, he wasn’t busy, he shouldn’t have turned Peter away. Pepper tries to tell him that it never will be his fault, but it’s pointless because Tony’s conscious keeps screaming at him. 

He doesn’t stop it. 

He’s no stranger to hospital and hasn’t been for while considering he sits in a hospital room everyday. It’s familiar. He should be used to them, but it still hurts in a way. 

Hospital either have good news or bad news. Maybe a bleak in between, but for the most part it’s black and white. 

They’re quiet and stale and smell like cleaning chemicals and cold air. It stings in his nostrils, and the smell lingers on his clothes no matter how much he tries to wash them and avoid using them two days in a row. 

He sometimes buys Peters favorite pizza. Of course it’s hawaiian because Peters taste buds are so weird. He doesn’t really like it. Pineapple?? On a cheesy pizza? He’ll pass. But he will buy it and let the smell linger for a few minutes. He can close his eyes and imagine Peter taking a bite while watching a movie, his eyes crinkling at the corners with laughter. But he opens his eyes and the side of the couch is empty and the tv was never on in the first place. 

He always leaves the pizza to some random interns downstairs. 

He’s judged people for losing hope on Peter, but he’s starting to lose some himself. 

He won’t _ever_ leave Peter. But it’s no secret that Peters chances of waking up is scarily low. 

Sometimes he thinks of pulling the plug (both literally and figuratively). Maybe he’s selfish for keeping Peter here when not even his own body can keep him alive. 

He doesn’t believe in the afterlife, but he’s scared Peter is stuck in the awful in between from life and death. And sometimes he thinks Peter would like to let go. 

To see his parents and his Uncle once again. 

But he couldn’t ever do it. He holds on to selfish hope that Peters does want to stay and that he will wake up and be here. 

* * *

He fell asleep, only to be woken up by a quiet cough. He springs up and catches his eyes. 

A pool of dark honey. Full of mirth and life and joy and smiles and energy-

Except these eyes are cold and distant and stale and-

Another cough pulls him away from his thoughts. 

He gets up and quickly gets a cup of water. He calls Strange and Cho, and then walks back to Peter. 

He brought the cup to Peters chapped lips gently, noticing his hands were shaking to much to hold it. He tilted the cup and watched and Peters sipped at the water. 

He feels Peters eyes on him, but for some reason he can’t bring himself to look. He got used to seeing Peters pale and cold face. This...this is real and this is _alive._

_But he can’t recognize him_

”Peter?” A third voice disrupts the pair. 


	2. Through your scalp i would like to reach in so i could pull out the monster you’ve been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s not the same. And probably never will be. 
> 
> He’s a monster of a boy he once was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehee hope y’all enjoy ! I love you all so much it’s insane.

“Peter?” A third voice called out. 

Both Tony and Peter snapped their heads towards the door, Doctor Strange standing there. 

“You’re awake” Cho said as she slid past by Strange. “Do you mind if we take your stats?” she asked as she got some equipment ready. 

“No” Peter said, voice raspy due to the lack of usage in the past months. 

“How are you feeling?” Cho said as she took his temperature. She also checked his blood pressure. 

Peter shrugged, not verbally answering. Cho hummed in understanding. 

“You seem to be acclimating well, all circumstances considered. Any nausea or dizziness is normal, but if it’s too much call us.” Cho said pointedly at the end. “You’ll need physical therapy, but we will worry about that later when you’re ready to get up and at ‘em okay?”. 

“We” Cho said said pointing to Strange. “Will give you both some time alone okay? If you need anything, call Friday”. Both doctors bid them both a small smile and left the room. 

“I-“ Both Tony and Peter said at the same time. Tony smiled gently at Peter and gestured so he could go first. 

“I want to...to get some more sleep? I’m tired” Peter said softly. 

Tony deflated slightly. “It’s alright kiddo, you need to rest” He smiled. _Peter has been resting this whole time why does- why why why why why-_

Peter laid back and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

This was the normal now. Peter was barely even talking, to anyone really. It was almost like it was taunting Tony in a way. Not that Peter was purposely doing that, but the silence. He’s been quiet for months and it keeps going and going and _going-_

He gets discharged. 

And Tony is trying so hard. He’s been trying so much to just get at least something out of Peter. But the silent responses are almost deafening. Killing him all over again. 

And Peter looks the same. Well, maybe a little skinnier, a little paler, a little more broken, but he’s Peter. 

But he’s not. 

* * *

Peter is not okay. It’s terribly obvious that he’s drowning and sinking and it hurts. It’s so obvious that he isn’t the boy from a few months ago. 

_Sometimes Peter wishes to find all the lonely remnants of himself that left when his head cracked open-_

He walks. He talks. He breathes. He exists. He promises he does all these things.

But everything has been shallow. Merely done as he is some sick and twisted puppet controlled by the strings. 

And maybe, maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. Maybe it was supposed to hurt like this.   
  


Or maybe he wasn’t supposed to survive- 

Not that he’d tell that to anyone. Never. They are all already on him always breathing down his neck. The thing he leasts wants to do is let everyone find out that he wishes he wasn’t saved. 

He’s not happy anymore. Not the same way at least. He doesn’t breathe in sunshine and exhale dandelions. Instead his nostrils fill up with blood only to pour out his eyes in some sick art masterpiece. 

The worst of all, is that he’s supposed to be this miracle. He’s supposed to be this kid who almost died and was miraculously saved by a surgery. 

He sure doesn’t feel like a miracle.

* * *

It’s not hard to notice the shift around Peter. His once bright and bubbly aura is now replaced by the same one he had during the coma. 

_Dead Cold Vile-_

And Tony wants to scream because everyone is pretending that Peter is okay when it’s so obvious he’s not. 

He’s walking around like a ghost. He’s dying all over again. He’s wasting away. Yet they are so blinded by the fact that Peter is _living._

Hes been able to see the truth from the start. Who ever came back from that coma, most definitely was not Peter. 

It hurts. 

And it’s so scary because at this point Tony doesn’t know who is sleeping on that bed, who sits and eats dinner with him or who walks around the tower. 

And sometimes, Tony thinks to himself when Peter isn’t looking, 

_“Through your scalp I would like to reach in so I could pull out the monster you've been”  
_

_And then he cries_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it’s short ! Next chapter will definitely be longer. Consider this kinda a filler chapter ? Tell me what you think of the story so far !! <33

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry i kinda left for a little, life is wack. I also had zero motivation and ideas for fics. But i dyed my hair so that’s cool, although i go to a private school and i could get in trouble lmao, i hope they don’t see it in the google meets call. Anyways, if you made it up to here, i hope you enjoyed. Love y’all ! ❤️


End file.
